My Songs & Poems

How do get someone to be self supportive/ grow up, if it seems that they don’t want to?

The answer to the question in Y! Answers.


By Pi


The road to independence is NOT an automatic process. It has to be demonstrated and coached. Preferably by parents by not exclusively so—but there has to be some accountability with a consistent system of rewards and punishments along the way—and I don’t mean emotional or physical abuse either—more along the lines of curtailing and granting of privileges in progressive stages.

Problem today is that many parents quite often don’t have the intellectual and physical resources to be mentors to their own children.

I don’t buy the absent father equals delinquency bit either. Many fine independent people were raised in less than ideal conditions yet still managed to emulate someone they saw as a role model to what they deem success.

Dependent parents cannot teach independency just like an untrained person cannot do a successful operation that requires skill.

In fact, the average dependent person’s idea of success is to be dependent so in their own view they believe they are successes—and they are—according to their value system.

If you inject a lazy person with truth serum and ask them to give their definition of success they will probably answer “to do the least that I can get away with” and in that sense, hey they’re quite successful.

The stages towards dependency can be painful for some, an intellectual realization that leads to opportunities for others, but never an “easy road” and that is where the problem lies a lot of times;

Children have been spoiled to the point where they remain as dependent at age 20 as they were when they were 6.

A dependent kid of 20 yrs of age will need to go through the whole painful course in less time unless he or she can continually be supported indefinitely.

Say the little bird was allowed to stay in the mothers nest until it grew so big and heavy that learning to fly would be practically impossible—same analogy with grown “children.”

Asperger's Syndrome (the milder end of the Autism Spectrum)

• Communication

-Inability to express in words

-Lack of eye contact, few facial expressions

-Lecture-like, robotic/formal fashion, circumstantial form of conversation, talks most in regards to their areas of interest/expertise

-Less obvious abnormalities include unrecognized, underlying discrepancies between verbal and nonverbal language and between comprehension and expression

• Social

-Relationships are one-sided, distant, or absent. May misunderstand relationships and are either too intense or too detached.

-May appear withdrawn or isolated or may have their own world or shy

-An unempathic objectivity leads to difficulties ranging from understanding friendship (how friends differ from acquaintances)

-Lack of social or emotional reciprocity or Appear to lack empathy

-May have the inability to show compassion instinctively in a given situation

-Lack of spontaneous seeking to share enjoyment, interests or achievements with other people (not showing , bringing or pointing out objects of interest to others)

-Failure to develop peer relationships appropriate to developmental level (i.e. hanging out with people their right age)

-Inability to interact successfully with peers

-May have few or no close friends

-Inability to see another person's point of view

-Lack of emotional control, particularly with anger, depression, and anxiety

-Socially and emotionally inappropriate or eccentric behavior or Socially awkward

• Interests

-Apparently inflexible adherence to specific, nonfunctional routines or rituals

-Persistent preoccupation with parts of objects

-Average or above-average intelligence

-Limited range of interest, which can be their own obsession and in which they excel the most and may become their areas of specialization

Asperger's Syndrome is NOT a mental disorder. It cannot be cured because there's no problem with Aspergers. Individuals with Asperger's are the same people you see every day except they have a name/title/label to describe them. Locating a person with Aspergers is difficult. They are only at least one in a 100. They can either be a friend or loved one. They can be diagnosed or not. Asperger's Syndrome is NOT a childhood disorder, though diagnosis is frequent in children than in adults. Asperger's Syndrome is a developmental disorder, meaning the brains are wired differently from typical people. Diagnosing Aspergers has come into picture because these individuals don't fit in the "normal/typical" norms of society. They are sometimes described as weird/awkward or different, crazy, insane, or childish. Adult aspergers are hard to tell esp when they have learned to adjust to the society and are able to hold jobs and families. It is well common in males than in females, but both are the same, because females can easily alter their actions towards what is "normal" to society than males.

Traditional frameworks may indicate that the female with Asperger's Syndrome is just shy, quiet, perfect at school so her parents must be exaggerating, tomboyish, moody, overly competitive, aloof, Gothic, depressed, anxious, or a perfectionist (Fattig, 2007).

Each Aspergers is one-of-a-kind, which means not one Aspergers is the same with other Aspergers. Aspergers' main problem is social relationships/interactions. 

"[They] can be so smart and intelligent but [they are] not socially smart." - SMD

Social maturity is slow or can be stunted if not intervened.

Known people to may be Aspergers: Albert Einstein, Thomas Edison, Bill Gates, Keanu Reeves, Robin Williams, Tom Hanks

Other underlying problems of Aspergers (may have or may not):

Light Sensitivity

Noise Sensitivity

Touch Sensitivity

Allergies

Social anxiety, etc

Stuck In Planet Earth

I just couldn't figure out the social world of these creatures in Planet Earth. They are so complex. They talk a lot but I mostly hear nonsense. They tell me to stop being serious but how not be serious when things are logical and factual, and does not seem funny. What's funny about that?

I read this book about friendships. It says there that conversations have three categories: facts, opinions, and emotions. I can talk a lot about facts but I later bore the other creatures. When I talk about opinions, the creatures disregard mine or they don't get what I mean. When I observe them talking about emotions, the creatures have so much and they win "friends" so well. If I try talking about emotions, it is the hardest topic that I could come out.

How do they do it? How do these creatures live well?

(Africa) Burkina Faso

BURKINA FASO (ca. Ouagadougou)

• Landlocked country
• Shortage of water is one of the main problems in Burkina Faso.
• This country is one of the lowest GDP per capita in the world.
• International aid plays a large role in the country's economic activity.
• Provision for health needs have been so low.
• A large number of young women in Burkina Faso have suffered female genitalia mutilation (or circumcision in females).
• Ref. Wikipedia, Religion in Burkina Faso
• Burkina Faso is one of the world's poorest countries.
• Youtube (2:16): Missionaries Help the People of Burkina Faso - CBN.com (2008)
• Youtube (2:57): Soaring food prices in Burkina Faso (2008)
• Youtube (2:27): Adapting to Climate Change (2008)
• Youtube (6:02): Helping Themselves - Burkina Faso (2010)
• Youtube (5:35): Partnership Against Poverty (2010)

(Africa) Republic of Botswana

BOTSWANA (ca. Gaborone)

• Botswana is the least corrupt country in Africa and ranks similarly close to Portugal and South Korea.
• "Botswana is currently facing two major environmental problems: drought and desertification." 50% of Batswana own livestock. And with more livestock, the land needs more land for grazing which results to desertification, not only drought. With frequent drought in Botswana, the people depend on groundwater, and with that, soil erosion may result.
• One of six Batswana is infected with AIDS, making it the second highest infection rate in the world after Swaziland.
• Botswana is composed of 70% Christians.
• Bushmen still thrive in this country. Years before, they were being persecuted until a professor, Prof. James Anaya, abolished persecution on February 2001.
• Football (or "soccer") is the most popular sport in Botswana.
• Ref. Wikipedia
• Youtube (19:34): The Kalahari Bushmen - Botswana

(Africa) Republic of Benin

BENIN (ca. Catanou)

• Benin is not Benin City in Nigeria nor is it related to the Benin Kingdom/Benin bronzes, but of the body of water, Bight of Benin, on which the country lies.
• Benin is considered by a few to be a model democracy in Africa.
• Marthieu Kérékou (from converting to Islam to becoming a Christian; ended his rule in 2006) is widely praised for making no effort to change the constitution so that he could remain in office or run again, unlike many African leaders.
• In a 2004 study by NationMaster, Benin was found to be the most corrupt out of 95 countries analyzed.
• The economy of Benin is dependent on subsistence agriculture, cotton production, and regional trade.
• Lack of women's wage equality, the use of child labour, and the continuing issue of forced labour.
• A third of the population live below the international poverty line of US$1.25 per day.
• Benin had one of the highest death rates for children under the age of five in the world.
• Many Beninese continue to hold Vodun and Orisha beliefs and have incorporated into Christianity the pantheon of Vodun and Orisha.
• Women are particularly subject to illiteracy. - from above Ref. Wikipedia
• Youtube (8:56): Benin, Africa - Fresh Water Well Short Documentary
• "She [Kerekou's wife] said, "The country of Benin wants to hear about God." - Francis Loko, Benin's Ambassador to Canada
• "We forget that the human dimension is also a spiritual dimension." - Loko
• Youtube (24:10): Magic and Murder (Sacrificing children is still being practiced, part of witchcraft.)
• Youtube (2:47): Benin battles belief in sorcery